Anybody in a consumption-oriented society knows Valentine's day is coming up on February 14. The stores have been packed with V-Day decorations and advertising is everywhere to buy diamonds, chocolates, handbags, etc. for the love of your life. So in honor of this upcoming Hallmark holiday, my Saint Valentine-related musings.
While chatting online, somebody made the following comment:
I wish I was a brave as [xyz] ... she's leaving for Japan to start a new life and career ...
I mulled that over some and realized perhaps it's not courage but different values in life. In my case, the pull of relationships just is not that strong. Whether through nature or nurture (or both), my brain has been conditioned to react to accomplishments. Give me projects to work on -- whether personal or business (and these days, business projects are personal projects) -- and I am happy as a clam. But this means is there are few ties that bind. Location? Don't care. Friends? I recycle new sets of friends all the time and leave my previous crowd behind. Coworkers? Haven't kept contact with anybody from previous jobs. Family? Not very close to parents or siblings. In short, there is little holding me back from new ventures or new locations.
There is a downside of course. Lack of deep relationships, lack of networking means you have to depend on yourself so much more. It's a tougher road but in the right circumstances offers a higher financial upside. In my last entry
Sleeping in a closet, I wrote about ... well ... sleeping in a closet at my office during the initial days. Unfortunately, none of my relationships with the opposite sex -- from serious to casual -- survived this period. Once in a blue moon, I wonder if the course of events could have played out differently but the moments of introspection don't last long as I know those pairings would not have lasted over the long term.
Maybe there is an alternate reality where I am great at socializing, networking, emotional support and perfectly happy with fewer/lesser accomplishments but more/deeper relationships. After all, the differences in classes in developed countries is rather minor compared to say being born in Haiti so would I really suffer if I lived an average suburban life? But on this earth, I am a hard-driving Type A personality. Fortunately, I am now married to someone who perfectly complements my disposition and we have 2 wonderful kids together.
(Filed in philosophy)
Valentine's Day
Posted by Mossy
February 10, 2010 7:18 AM
While chatting online, somebody made the following comment:
I mulled that over some and realized perhaps it's not courage but different values in life. In my case, the pull of relationships just is not that strong. Whether through nature or nurture (or both), my brain has been conditioned to react to accomplishments. Give me projects to work on -- whether personal or business (and these days, business projects are personal projects) -- and I am happy as a clam. But this means is there are few ties that bind. Location? Don't care. Friends? I recycle new sets of friends all the time and leave my previous crowd behind. Coworkers? Haven't kept contact with anybody from previous jobs. Family? Not very close to parents or siblings. In short, there is little holding me back from new ventures or new locations.
There is a downside of course. Lack of deep relationships, lack of networking means you have to depend on yourself so much more. It's a tougher road but in the right circumstances offers a higher financial upside. In my last entry Sleeping in a closet, I wrote about ... well ... sleeping in a closet at my office during the initial days. Unfortunately, none of my relationships with the opposite sex -- from serious to casual -- survived this period. Once in a blue moon, I wonder if the course of events could have played out differently but the moments of introspection don't last long as I know those pairings would not have lasted over the long term.
Maybe there is an alternate reality where I am great at socializing, networking, emotional support and perfectly happy with fewer/lesser accomplishments but more/deeper relationships. After all, the differences in classes in developed countries is rather minor compared to say being born in Haiti so would I really suffer if I lived an average suburban life? But on this earth, I am a hard-driving Type A personality. Fortunately, I am now married to someone who perfectly complements my disposition and we have 2 wonderful kids together.
(Filed in philosophy)
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